A Hermit's Nest

Everyone is in love except me. why?

when i really liked someone before, i prayed and begged to God that it would go away (since it's not doing me any good). fortunately, it did. yay! i'm free.

now, everyone's talking about their love stories and they're asking me of mine."umm, i don't have any". i have crushes here and there but i'm actually happy being single. yet, sometimes i wish that i'll be in a relationship. even if it ain't that serious.

My definition of mainstream is an english or tagalog song. lol. Since i've been hooked on Kpop, i haven't been listening much of the English or OPM songs. So here are the songs I listen occasionally and liked enough to download.

(in no particular order)
1. Jonas Brothers - Burnin' Up
2. The Offspring - You're Gonna Go Far Kid
3. Charice - Pyramid
4. Metro Station - Seventeen Forever
5. Pixie Lott - Jack
6. Pearl Jam - Last Kiss
7. Saving Jane - Super Girl
8. KeSha - Tik Tok
9. Lady Gaga - Speechless
10. Phil Collins - You'll Be in My Heart
11. Tinchy Stryder feat. Amelle Berrabah - Never Leave You
12. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
13. Uncle Kracker - Smile
14. Owly City - Fireflies
15. All Time Low - Stella
16. Sade - Soldier of Love
17. Sade - Somebody Already Broke My Heart
18. Juris - Di Lang Ikaw
19. Rihanna - Rude Boy
20. Train - Hey Soul Sister
21. Jason Derulo - In My Head
22. Ludacris feat Shawnna - How Low
23. Oasis - Stand By Me
24. David Guetta feat. Akon - Sexy Bitch
25. BoB feat. Bruno Mars - Nothin' On You
26. Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglo - Falling Slowly
27. Brian McKnight feat. Justin Timberlake - My Kind of Girl
28. DJ Aki feat. Ritha K - Second First Date
29. Everybody Else - Makeup
30. Dirty Heads feat. Rome - Lay Me
31. KeSha - Run Devil Run (Demo)
32. Timbaland feat. One Republic - Apologize
33. Muse - Unintended
34. Depeche Mode - But Not Tonight
35. McFly - All About You
36. Shontelle - Impossible
37. Allure - Last Chance
38. Salem Al Fakir - Keep On Walking
39. Bruno Mars - Again
40. Bruno Mars - Her World Goes On
41. Juris - I Don't Want To Fall
42. Chase Coy - Never Had the Courage
43. Chase Coy - Lullaby
44. Bugoy Drilon - Hindi Na Bale
45. Superchick - Stand In The Rain
46. Superchick - One More

I've read rumors about him being gay but none of them convinced me.

Ok. I'm currently subbing My Girl Philippines and I feel a gay vibe from him. Mas malagkit pa siyang makatingin kay Julian kaysa kay Jasmine. I don't know. It may just be me, though.

I'm not trying to defame him. I'm just stating my observation. You know when you're subbing, you repeat the video a lot of times to get what they're saying.

I actually find him hotter than Julian (Gerald Anderson) and a better actor (way better). It would be a waste if he is indeed gay. But if he comes out someday, I'll respect it. ;)

what i'm listening to these days.

(in no particular order)
1. Brown Eyed Soul - I'll Move
2. C.N. Blue - 외톨이야 (I'm a Loner)
3. Brown Eyed Soul - Blowin My Mind
4. 2AM - Even if I die, I can’t let you go
5. 2PM - Tik Tok
6. Epik High - Fool
7. SNSD - Star Star Star (RnB Ver.)
8. C.N Blue - Y, Why
9. 4MEN - Not (I can't)
10. 4MEN - BABY BABY
11. 4Minute - For Muzik (Intro)
12. Outsider - Acquaintance
13. Baek Ji Young - Will Love Come (Ft. Mighty Mouth)
14. Big Mama - Going Crazy Waiting
15. Cotton Candy - Daesung
16. Mate - Dear My Mate
17. Dia - Another Boy
18. Epik High - Run
19. Eun Ji Won - Adios
20. FT-Island - Sarangalhi
21. T-ara - I Go Crazy Because of You
22. Jungin - I Hate You
23. December - I have Learned to Love
24. T-ara - I'm Really Hurt
25. SNSD - Into the new world
26. Min Kyung Hoon - It Hurts Because It's Love
27. Jae - Lie
28. K Will - Present (Gift)
29. Kim Jong Gook - Today Than Yesterday
30. Love Taught Me To Drink - Lee Seunggi (Feat. Baek Chan from 8eight)
31. Melody for you - M4
32. Nell - Time to Walk Memories
33. NEWS - Sakura Girl
34. SNSD - Oh
35. Pe2ny & Tablo - White
36. SNSD - Run Devil Run
37. SHINee - Replay
38. Beast - Shock
39. Supreme Team - Step Up
40. Super Junior M - At Least There's Still You
41. Tim - I Love You
42. Tohoshinki - Doshite Kimi no Suki ni Natte Shimattan Daro
43. Lyn - True Story
44. 2NE1 - Try to follow me
45. Wonder Girls - Move (Feat. Lee Min Woo)
46. Younha - Broke Up Today
47. Younha - I Like You
48. Yusaku Kiyama - Eien
49. Kara - 루팡 (Lupin)
50. Brown Eyed Soul - My Everything

// Download //

100217 [long]

1) Mata (Talent Search). Best live performance i've seen (witnessed) in my life so far (and no, i'm not being biased, lol). She's a gorgeous girl with talent and charisma. Real talent baby. Thing is, she was my classmate but I did not expect her to be like that. She was quite nerdy. That was really a surprise to me.

2) I noticed too that I became quite critical with voice and singing qualities now. Ever since i was hooked on K-pop and read reviews of artists, I started to do reviews myself (though not written down). I focus on their singing not their appearance. I know it's weird but I'm somewhat happy because it will be very helpful for my future plans.

3) I didn't attend the closing ceremony. I dunno. Everybody seems to be not in the mood. (Chase was not in the mood. I was not) The thing that was left were 2NE1 songs being performed and eye-candies. Well, i've had enough of eye-candies during WT. I guess I should just study for our Math exam. I wouldn't be enjoying the program anyways (no other close friends are watching).

4) I always do the wrong choices these days (I noticed). I didn't attend the morning classes because I was lazy (too lazy to get up). I went to school that afternoon only to be informed that all afternoon classes are suspended. $#@$. I hope I won't be having the wrong choices when I start my business. Please Lord.

100203 [Bisaya, English]

Gasakay ko ug jeep na halos wala na ko galingkod. Sakit kaayo sa tuhod. Reminds me of letting go. I dunno. It hurts too much I can't take it anymore (the pressure on my knees). It's not worth it anymore.

So I stopped in front of The Hospital and went to the city instead. There I took a comfortable jeepney ride. Phew!

100202
2043 HR

No TV, no distractions. I can "study" peacefully. Well, what I really did was scanning, reading aloud and rewriting / organizing notes.

1.) i'm hoping to be included in the next payroll. please Lord.
EDIT: well, it turned out i'm not. bummer >:)

She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find “The One.”

You know, she’s the one who you keep around in the meantime. She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable - she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does.

But she’s cool, nice, funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely and need female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve.

You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you, and that she’ll give you the excitement you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.It won’t bother her that you’ll get up, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool... Why can’t all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with.

Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at a factory. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman.

So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too.

We all do.

She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she still stays anyway.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

She doesn’t know the reason, really, and at this point she doesn’t even care. She just wants to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that they may be a lot of fun, but they cry, too. A lot.

And someday, I won’t be around.

Related Links:
The Meantime Girl by Jan Javier